I’m the queen of early outs. It’s funny though, I never make it home early. I’m easily persuaded to grab drink and stuff my face. Friday night we went to Tony’s because their pizza is crack and we love the old lady waitresses.
“Whatta ya having hun?”
That night was different though. The bar side was rowdy and I needed intimacy with my girl Bkels. We had to catch up on the life we lead outside of cocktailing. So we sat in the dinning room, if that’s what you call it.
Our waitress wasn’t our fav, in fact I never had her before. As soon as she took our order the first lunatic of the night sat behind us. Hysterically crying, he threw himself into the booth and just sobbed like a baby. Clearly intoxicated and probably on bath salts. We contemplated moving but didn’t want to make a scene. Plus I needed material for this blog. He began talking to himself.
My scenario; he drank his soul away at beer fest because he found out his wife was pregnant with his brothers baby. We never got the story because the bath salts kicked in and he threw his glass of water at the table and it shattered everywhere and got my friends jacket soaked.
We moved and the cooks came running out to remove his ass. I thought to myself why did the waitress give him a glass in the first place ? We had plastic, much safer. She was also trying to play doctor Phil and ask him what was wrong. Lady you can’t save him can you check on our pizza?
On the way out he tried to pick up a huge table, with his scrawny self , and failed. His face smashed into door frame as he yelled about who knows what.
After things calmed down the waitress was ranting about how shitty her night was. She wouldn’t shut up. I think she had bath salts too. She was babbling on about nothing and apologizing 40 times about the drunk guy. Was she looking for sympathy ? A better tip?
You know what’s funny?
We avoided the bar side because it was rowdy, missed out on sitting with our favorite no frills server, had a waitress on meth and a glass of water thrown at my friend. But did I say the pizza was the bomb? The best ever? Locally famous ?
Ok good.
Cheers xo
Nicole Lauren 