1-800 flowers

Valentine’s Day again ?

A day to show the one you can’t stand 364 days out of the year how much you really love them. Like working 40 hrs a week or taking care of a house, kids, dogs, cat, hamster doesn’t scream baby I love you. This over priced candy and card most definitely will! Can’t forget the flowers too! Single or in a relationship this man made Holiday is overrated.

If you’re single like me, nothing makes it’s worse then getting a text from a club promoter with this header ….

Like thanks, I really want to hang out with a bunch of loners on a couples holiday. I’ll just get drunk in the comforts of my own home tonight.

As if I’m not feeling shitty enough you just throw salt at me !

Not gonna lie, even though this holiday is once again stupid, I have decided I’m in the wrong profession. A good friend of mine asked me to pick out flowers and a card for his girl. Which happens to also be a good friend.

So here I go, bracing myself for all the last minute people scurrying around for the perfect I love you.

My first thought , people don’t work on Valentine’s Day ? It’s 11am why the fuck is this line from here to China ? Everyone call out sick for this shit ? Scared you’re sleeping on the couch tonight ? (which you probably already do) Anyway, after I survived the line I went to another store. Ahhh the card isle, full of dudes racking there brains it looks like. Pick a card any card. Don’t act like you care now. Just kidding, but not. “Any cards for friends with benefits ? How about for Situationships ? Asking for myself!”

I yell out. No one laughs. Tough crowd. That’s why that card you picked won’t get you laid later. But this card , this card I picked out for my friend! This is where I decided forget cocktailing. I’m going to do this for a living ! That’s right all you dumbass men stress no more! I’m going to be like Kevin Hart in Wedding Ringer. Forget 1-800 flowers, hit me up 1-800 Nicole Lauren. I picked the best card ever! The best flower arrangement. You can’t top a woman doing a mans job, we just do it better. But I do need a man for one thing, filling windshield washer fluid in my car. I almost broke a nail today trying to open my hood. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Quick question, if the day before Valentine’s Day is side chick day what’s tomorrow? Bottom bitch day, because candy and everything is gonna be on clearance! I mean I’d take my side piece out tomorrow save some money, see you dudes got it all wrong.

So aside from today being pretty comical, I am excited to get this biz off the ground. Christmas gifts, anniversaries, gender reveals, push presents, mother in laws yup! Guys, I’m your go to ! What would I call it though ? Happy wife happy life ? Nikki knows best ? Leave it to me? Your an idiot let me do it ? Decisions, decisions. Comment below your suggestions! This could be big.

Cheers xo


Published by Confessions of a Cocktail Server

Aspiring blogger .... Currently a cocktail server with 117 dreams to fulfill .... Jill of all trades master at most... follow my tales of trying to survive in the cocktail world, dating, adulting and life period.

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