Going to the bank has to be one of the most awkward moments for a cocktail server. At least for me it is. I imagine the thoughts going on in the tellers head go something like this : Wow she did good last night. I wonder what her stage name is ? I wonder if you get free champagne? You think she wears those clear heels?
I like to give myself pep talks. Girl, don’t be embarrassed. If you were a stripper you would make way more than this. Sometimes my pep talks suck.
As I stuff my million one dollar bills in the money container I wonder how much I would make as a … no-no stop it. What is that time capsule looking thing called ? Anyway I use to be flustered when counting and sorting my ones in the drive thru. But now it’s fun for me to let them wonder what I do.
At the grocery store I always give the cashier a heads up. Hi, I heard you ran out of ones. So here ya go… paying my $200 dollar grocery bill in ones for ya. It’s a love hate relationship. Oh, and it pisses the people off behind me. They get so agitated when they have to wait for me to count my ones. I can totally feel them stare me down too. I know what you where doing last night hunny, sliding down poles, now hurry up and pay! Totally what that Mom of four was thinking.
You would think I would just deposit my money and use my debit card. But no, I’m like a 90-year-old women. I stash my money in coffee cans all around the house.
We use to be able to cash in our tips for bigger bills with the cashier at work . I’m still not sure why we’re not allowed anymore. So now we have to pay and play with a shit ton of ones, fives, and tens . Unless your normal and just use your debit card.
I like being somewhat of a mystery customer. I deal with them all night and making up scenarios about their life is what gets me through my shift.
I might be a dancer I might not they’ll never know.
Cheers xo
Nicole Lauren 