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Now that Valentine’s Day and all the other dramatic holidays are over I have a series of stories to tell. Like am I on candid camera ? I swear 495 Production needs to be following me around and documenting these events.

Let’s start with my mysterious Godiva chocolate gift that was sent to my house. It was a few weeks after my birthday, so naturally I thought it was a belated gift. I had one specific person in mind. The only person that’s ever sent me anything for that matter. The card read, “Please enjoy this gift while we sort things out”- Nathan James.

(Thanks Nate)

I have no idea who Nathan James is. My first thought , clearly, was that it was something from Godiva. Maybe, backordered and it wasn’t able to be sent to me. This was probably just a little gift to hold me over for the real thing. Nathan James must be like the sales manger or something, sounds good right?

A couple of days went by and then I was more curious. I ended up Googling the name and I was way off. I had ordered a desk months ago that came damaged. Nathan James is the damn furniture company. This was a gift from them. Well, yup that confirms it, nobody loves me.

Then there was the creepy guy who walked up to the door of my hair shop while I was on the phone. He proceeded to tell me he had jungle fever and can he talk to me for a minute. Since I was on the phone it was a perfect excuse to basically ignore him. I’m naturally not a rude person, surprise, so I was nice about it but totally blew him off.

My friend who was on the phone is European. Never hearing the saying or knowing what it meant she was concerned. “Jungle fever!” Tell him he better take some Tylenol put his mask back on! It was the best part of my day. Her response lives in my head rent free forever.

Then, one of my favorite disappointments of the season. I was invited to Vegas for the weekend!!! This literally never happens to me. In true, why the hell is this my life fashion, I had to decline. It’s probably the one person that I’m actually interested in too. I wasn’t able to go for reasons only the real know.

Instead , I got to sit back and watch all his IG stories about how much fun he was having in Vegas. Salt in the wound. I guess I missed my window of opportunity because he got back with his ex a few weeks after he got home. Just in time for Valentines Day. Sucks for him.

There’s more…. we have the Facebook flirt. Consistently, he’s been going back-and-forth interacting with my stories. I was thinking he liked me. Isn’t that how it goes anymore ??

Until, he commented on a post about hair extensions. I replied, “Oh are you looking to get your hair done? Lol.” Obviously, as a joke but it definitely wasn’t funny because he was inquiring for a girl that he’s dating. He wanted to treat her for her birthday. Then he proceeds to tell me her features. Long dark hair , short, pretty face. I have to be in the twilight zone. What is actually going on. Definitely didn’t see that coming. Another one bites the dust.

Last but not least, we have to put icing on the cake that I’m going to devour. I have TWO destination weddings this year, and yup , you guessed it no date for either.

I better start to like cats because the way God is moving I’m destined to be an old cat lady. Honestly, I’m cool with that. How do you think Betty White live so long and looked so good ? She was single and she liked Vodka. I wouldn’t mind dying a legend like Betty White.

With that being said I’d like to thank Kanye’s documentary on Netflix for giving me the strength to write this blog. How can I be a famous writer if I never write ??? So thanks Ye !! Here’s to putting in more work to get this blog global !!

#jeenyus

Drink of the week : Grey Goose Screwdriver

(Unlike my love life this never disappoints)

Cheers xo

M.I.A

I know you probably thought I quit the Blog!!! I have been extremely busy. Most recently with gods grace I’ve been able to pursue my other dream! No, not being a member of destiny’s child, but owning my own hair salon! So cool right ? Not just any salon though. We are an extensions bar specializing in hair extensions , wigs , braids and hair treatments.

Just like this cocktailing thing, owning your own biz is not for the weak. Seriously! If I have to fill out one more paper, fax another document, write another check (municipal systems still take checks don’t judge me) I’m going to scream!

I’m happy to announce I have not become a victim of alcohol or drug dependancies during this process but boy has it crossed my mind. I’ve never had to use my customer service voice this much in my life. Trying to sound like I know what I’m talking about for permit applications, zoning shit, and whatever else comes with a new biz is draining. I was hoping to meet a hot construction worker but eh I guess it’s true what they say. The retired ones do all the paper work because I have yet to see the ones in those calendars.

Yet, me and Susan at the front desk are besties now. Around the 40th phone call I made, I told her you’re either going to hate me or be my best friend when this is all over ! I can’t tell yet but I hope I made friend.

Anyway, so that’s what I’ve been upto all this time. Summer literally passed me by and I couldn’t tell you if I ever made it to the beach. The last five months have been a blur.

Cocktailing has even taken a back seat. I have barely been in the casino so I’m sad to say I have no funny stories. Unless, you count my secret crush wiping me off because someone spilled an entire Heineken on me.

I’m a little nervous if he reads this. Fingers crossed he doesn’t. So yeah, I have a little baby crush on a co- worker. I was completely stuck when this was actually happening like statue stuck. Frozen. Shook. Embarrassed.

The beer flew up and spilled all over my back. I had been facing away from the girls tray. I felt the beer all over my legs and just stood there. Next thing I know, god said I have a treat for you! Here comes my crush to save the day! He came from behind the bar started to pat me dry with paper towels. Omg , omg, is this really happening ???! I was dying!

That’s it we’re gettn married! In my head I was picking out my brides maids ! Jk. I’m not that girl but I did bask in the moment.

Back to reality, that was cool and I honestly don’t remember any shifts after that bc I’ve been too busy with opening the salon. But now I’m running out of money so my ass needs to go back and beg for my change again. Which is cool bc being a cocktail server in the casino means we don’t have personally have a coin shortage.

Reminder: These people still tip change and it’s cool now because I pay with exact change…

The signs, “Coin shortage exact change only,” move over I got it. Hopefully, I’m back on my writing but I can’t promise anything. Oh, how could I forget !!! Confessions of a Cocktail Server now has a shop! Yes, I launched that this summer ! Defiantly check it out … Shop

Drink of the week:

Busy Bee

Cheers xo

There’s a lady in the room!

In all the years I’ve been cocktailing , with all the rude customers, smart ass people , sexual comments, dumb questions etc…I’ve never heard someone speak so low of us. I’ve never heard someone insult what we do for a living or categorize us as uneducated , easy or dumb. EVER….

Maybe, because working and growing up in Atlantic City, cocktailing or bartending is normal and a huge opportunity for us. I don’t know, call me crazy, but I definitely never knew about this stereo type. Thanks for enlightening me though, to the bozo who works in my casino, in a whole different department, that seems to know it all. No names because I’m nice….

The other day, I walked into my service bar and happened to be the only female server in there at the moment. Three guys : a bar back , bartender , and some dude from whatever department, were talking. FYI This isn’t a classic bar joke this really happened.

Mainly, the guy whose position I won’t say, kept going on and on about how many girls he use to get because he worked this industry. How it was easy it was. Lets just say he wasn’t bragging about wine-n-dining or being a gentleman …. He was being ratchet and filthy I wanted to puke.

I cut them all of and said, “Hey, there’s a lady in the room! I gave a fake laugh and said it sarcastically because that’s me , “I’m not that much of a lady but still….” JOKINGLY my bartender and bar back know me ….

He replied in a non-joking tone – “Yeah, you’re a cocktail server.” My face turned stone cold! …. God, please don’t let me lose my job today – I repeated this legit a bunch of times then I turned myself around and acted like I was making coffee. He continued to tell stories which were total lies because if you could see this guy….gross and won’t shut the hell up! When I get mad I see red and do not have control over my actions so to safe myself I had to bite my tongue and vent to you.

The last time he was in my bar he was showing pictures of his new puppy and totally singing another tune. He definitely was a dork his whole life. He wishes his wife was cocktail server working 6 hours a shift coming home weekly with probably his whole paycheck … I wanted to go off on this big shrek looking clown. He wishes he could even get with in two feet of one us….

He carried on about strip clubs and how they’re the worst and he would never date anyone who worked in one. That they ALL have STDs and are dirty …. I couldn’t help but laugh obnoxiously…Sir … excuse me , hate to be rude but no one would date you ! So don’t worry about that.

By the way you look and talk it wouldn’t take much for a dancer to milk you for all you got and you def wouldn’t tell her to get off your lap. So save it. You won’t be thinking about a STD then either. I can put all my money on it….

You know, what we do may not be ideal in the cookie cutter world. We definitely didn’t dream about it kindergarten or anything like that but it pays the bills. It’s a really great side job, main job, job through college, summer job whatever … I’ve seen co- workers buy homes, pay off debt , start businesses , start a blog, raise children, travel the world, get boob jobs and more!!!! We are far from dumb and only a few I know are easy … lmao

As long as you still have your two legs, two hands , and can say coffee , soda , juice you can do this until your 80 if you damn well please … Thank the union for that though … not all cocktail jobs have a union or are created equal but I’m saying … Just do not Come for my cocktail severs unless we send for you !!!

♥️

Cheers xo

Drink of the weekend :

The Money Maker $

$$$

Maskless Eve & MDW!!!!

Memorial Day weekend 2021, is something special …. A memorial of lives lost serving our country, MOST IMPORTANTLY, but also a celebration of getting our life and freedom back for the most part ! Wow, never thought I’d have to say “getting our freedom back,” but OUR little armpit of America, New Jersey, is finally opening up! A very long drawn out 15 months of closures, restrictions, masks , social distancing, toilet paper shortages, virtual learning and complete chaos, we ARE over it!!!!! We’ve had to sit back and watch other states open up and roam free while we where here like the red headed step child, along with PA and NY. But we made it !!!! Now, we just have to get through the vaccination bribes…..

This Maskless eve I will be leaving cookies under the tree for Mrs. Coronavirus and going to bed early. I figure she’s a women because a man wouldn’t stay around this long and only a woman could be this damn complicated!

Actually, I might stay up late and burn my masks for a full moon ritual. Letting go of the fuckery …. Still want to know if masks are a tax write off….

I’m anticipating greasy old men harassing me to smile like old times, which I’m prepared for because the more things change the more they stay the same. Fake laugh, and keep it moving. Yet, tomorrow I will be smiling ear to ear at work in my red lipstick that has been collecting dust . I hope I still remember how to put it on, it’s like riding a bike right ?

All the slot machines will be turned on, over 80 chairs will be added to the table games floor, the day clubs will be open, no more capacity limits, and just like that Atlantic City is back!

Can’t wait to see all your beautiful faces and finally hear you clearly when you order your drinks !!!

Drink of the weekend :

Liberty Cocktail

Science project…

Since we’ve switched to plastic cups and paper straws at work, due to COVID shenanigans and the whole save the turtles thing, I’ve been noticing something …

I’ve always known that men cannot multi task. No offense just facts. Obviously, there are some that can. I only know one, my best friend, Joe M. Brother from another.

I learned, while trying to figure out my past relationships, that men’s brains are compartmentalized. So everything in their brain is like in its own section. They can only focus on one section at a time. Ladies and gents, this is why they will not answer you during football or any sports or while playing video games. Not because they don’t care what you have to say, well maybe, but no they just physically can’t! While us women , our brains are wired like a bowl of spaghetti. A fucking mess! Meaning, it’s a crazy maze and we can do more than one thing at once. Prime example, when we’re putting something away and next we are cleaning out the damn attic. Then 76 other things come to mind and we have to do them too. All while on the phone talking about Bobby’s little league game car pool and cooking dinner. Real life super heroes….

( Service bar selfies )

I swear I have a point here….When I’m passing a customer their drink, napkin and straw they usually are only using one hand. The other hand is digging for the tip or playing the slot machine.

This is when it gets awkward because I’m just standing their waiting for them to get their life together.

Here goes the observation : As I hand them the drink, then the pre- wrapped straw (covid safety) mostly the women , I have noticed can grab the straw with the same hand the drink is in by wrapping a finger around it.

Men , cannot do that! It’s pretty hilarious now that I’ve been peeping this whole thing. Basically it’s a game for me and a whole science project! The statistics are pretty clear. They fumble and have to use the other hand to grab the straw. Men just can’t multi task and that’s ok because you guys are good at other things like getting on our nerves. Just a fun rant ! Enjoy the rest of the week and men don’t be offended I’m sure we annoy you just as much. Actually, I know we do ; )

Drink of the week: something easy so you don’t have to do too much thinking and you don’t need a straw.

Corona with lime !

Cheers xo

Full trays

I feel like I was ran over by a Mac truck after my work week! Some kind of crazy slot promo at the casino and I got my ass kicked…

Yes, cocktail servers look cute and all but there’s nothing cute about carrying a heavy double stacked tray, in two inch heels, in a uniform you can’t breath in, with people standing in your way. I’ve said this before this job isn’t for the weak. We definitely deal with more than people think. Hence the inspo for the blog you know and love 🙂

I love when my tray is completely full ($$$) and someone has the nerve to ask me if I have any extra water. There’s no room on my tray for even a thought of water. That’s how packed it is on this beautiful little money maker. I would love to say look , look at this packed ass tray ! But in my customer service voice, I tell them no but I’ll bring you one no problem. It’s actually a huge problem because now I have to remember this extra water along with 200 other things going on at the same time. Thank god I’m good at multi tasking.

I’m not sure what’s worse that extra water question or if someone needs me to break change for anything more than a five dollar bill! The worst. I feel like they expect me to have 8 hands like I’m a damn octopus. The only thing that makes these overwhelming shifts worth it is counting the money at the end of the day, clearly.

Yet, even then, my body feels like I should have made 700 dollars sometimes. I’m grateful though, always , for even being back to work after the year we had. Surprisingly, business has been extremely busy since the reopen. Amen !

After ranting about how much my feet hurt since we’ve been back and busy, someone decided to give me the best gift I received this year. A foot massager ! It has changed my life! I use it after every shift and it can’t be explained how good it feels. Just think, if u could bring your favorite pedicure tech home with you, ok so it can be explained because that’s it right there. It’s like having pedicure massage everyday!

Speaking of gifts I have a story….

There’s this one customer who I have never served while he is actually playing. He always walks up to the service bar and shouts annoyingly, “ lemme get a redbull and a water !” Granted he tips $2 , eye roll, he’s still annoying as hell because why are you acting entitled ? Sit down like everyone else!

Yet, most of us serve him because it’s just easier than explaining protocol. He surprised me the other day though. There was a giveaway at the casino , common, and I saw he had one. As I passed him I asked him what it was. He was like, “here you want it ?”

Merry Christmas to me! It was in celebration of Earth Day, a whole pack of reusable bags and one was insulated! The way in the world’s going with paper straws, all the shoprites are probably going to be BYOB soon.

Unfortunately, not bring your own booze! But bring your own damn bag. So I was a ecstatic! Plus customer don’t give me gifts like that so I considered it flirting or he just didn’t want to carry it around all day. Now, anytime he hollers for a Red Bull and water I run it out to him like a little servant with a smile, maybe he’ll give me his next giveaway! I hope it’s like a mini grill or a bottle of wine, maybe diamonds, you know regular shit.

One of my other players has a collection of giveaways. He’s like a hoarder of casino giveaways, he goes to every casino just to pick up his gifts sometimes. I hate to see what his basement looks like. He probably has every single casino giveaway Atlantic City ever offered since 1989! But I would be same if I gambled like that. If it’s free it’s for me! These people spend a lot of money gambling, so I guess they deserve it even if it’s something cheesy.

Drink of the week: let’s make something with Red Bull as a thanks to that guy for my new reusable bags!

Cheers!

Excitabull

Cry Baby

Yesterday was one of those days when nothing specific happened. Yet, it felt like the world was on my shoulders. To all my spiritual zodiac friends is it because the moon is in Gemini? Is that what’s bothering my whole being? Because it’s not my period! I was so emotional about life, I had to have one of those good cries. The ugly ass cry where you’re crying so hard you can’t really breath. You know what I mean? I like to have a good cry in my car from time to time. I also like to torture myself and play a sad ass song to really enhance the break down. Go big or go home.

On my way back from my cry sesh, I had to stop and pay that ridiculous toll on the AC expressway. Which was annoying because it interrupted the melt down. Serioulsy, $1.25 though ? I could of bought Dogecoin with that!!!

Anyway, as I was driving up to the toll booth, I wondered if the toll attendant could see my face all wet from the tears. I tried to wipe my face off quickly but he definitely could see. Never paid any attention to how bright those damn toll lights are under there. Not only was my face covered in tears, my lips are currently black and blue! I totally looked like I got my ass beat. If you could’nt guess I just got my lips done. The goal is to look like a walking filter right?

The only reasons these dumb ass masks come in handy: 1. keeps you warm when its freezing and 2. They can hide lip injection healing. The silver lining, shout out to the mask mandate for that. But hello, I do not wear my mask in the car. So it didn’t help me here.

I just haven’t been feeling like that bitch these last few days and thats ok. We all have good days and bad days. I know what you’re thinking and no, thats not why I got my lips done! I got my lips done because the fountain of youth does exist and it’s only an hour and half from my house!

I’m sharing my emotional melt down with you because I know many of you can relate. If not you’re lying. Shit isn’t perfect no matter what it looks like on social media, to friends, to co-workers, to whoever. We are ALL dealing with battles no one knows about.

Cliche, and we hear it all the time, but it’s the truth. It’s ok to be sad it’s ok to have a melt down. I use to feel weak and guilty when I would have them (still do) because obviously there’s always someone who has it way worse than me, but that doesn’t mean we can’t feel down. To me it means we just can’t stay there. We have to have our pitty party and get back up. Can’t stay down too long because then you get stuck. I’ve been stuck a few times.

Right before my meltdown I was in the middle of talking to one of my close girlfriends and told her I needed to cry and her response wasn’t “why what’s wrong?” it was “let it out you’ll feel better after…”

A nice cry definitley helps but it has to be a good one. Barely breathing, snot running down your face and a toll guy judging you. Nothing less.

Perfect. I am feeling better after that. Plus I drank a bunch of sage and poured Florida water all over my head when I got home. IYKYK ! Might shove a crytal up my ass too whatever helps… All jokes aside though it’s ok to not have it all figured out. Make time for yourself even if it’s a 15 minute car ride alone to cry. Self care.

Cheers to the weekend.

drink of the week: Cry Baby

New Laptop…who dis?

I know you feel abandoned like the half ass parent that comes in and out of your life…. I apologize! I will make it up to you, because guess what ? Your girl just got a LAPTOP!!!! Yes, for the last five plus years I’ve been stuck under a rock or just cheap as fuck. I have been writing these blogs from my iPhone 11 and at one point from my iPhone7!!!! Steve Jobs is probably rolling around in his grave right now!

I feel like I won a Grammy and I have to shout out all the people who helped make this possible. For the record, NO I DID NOT spend my Stimi on this beautiful Mac Book Air. I have to thank my Angel Investor though, thanks for believing in me or feeling sorry for me, either way I’m thankful and happier than a pig in shit right now! It feels like when Drake said “Started from the bottom now I’m here!” My old lap top, the one with the Apple that lit up it was all white, I don’t even remember what year that was. Haven’t been able to turn it on since then….. I’m so Carrie Bradshaw right now I’m in love… I just need to sit at my window with cigarette and my laptop and I’m legit her….

(Feeling fresh)

I’m back to writing and I’m not going anywhere! I’ve been sitting on some serious gems lately too. From the lunatics in the casino, living with the restrictions of the world, to my dating life, things have been anything but dull around here…..

(New Year’s Day)
( Anthem )

Lets recap : Christmas was cool, New Year’s Day was celebrated like a true boss, my birthday was nothing short of amazing and Valentine’s Day was pretty decent. I mean when you have a beautiful dinner with your two close girls, drinking the best dirty martinis your ever had in your life, and then get kicked out of a strip club who can complain ? Probably my best Valentines yet! The bar has been raised for next year…..

(Valentines date)

(My other valentines)
(Girasole)

COVID is not stopping me from living let’s just end it at that! Can’t wait to fill you guys in stay tuned we have a lot of catching up to do!

In celebration of my new lap top and getting back on my blog game drink of the week : Champagne Cocktail

Fa-la-la

Dear Santa,

I need about 62 stim checks and a bottle of Baccarat Rouge.

Love,

your favorite ho.

I set a reminder to write today. Pathetic I know. It’s Christmas Eve! Everyone excited? Or did the worldly events completely drain your mind, body and spirit like mine? The mask has actually come in handy for keeping my face warm outside. Especially, when I’m at the bars. Gets kinda cold. What a time to be alive! But guess what ? The people still love the casino ! Which is a good thing for me and my cocktail servers. Bartenders, not so much I’m sorry. Even though Murphs gave us a curfew it doesn’t stop the people, they just get drunk earlier. Where there is a will there’s a way. Anyone who comes to AC to gamble really isn’t concerned with the virus. Especially, when they order a drink and pull down their mask to speak to me.

I’m already convinced I’m immune to this based on the simple fact I’ve worked in less than perfect conditions for years. Musty, moldy, unventilated establishments. People who literally cough freely and I’ve walked right into it. Nose pickers, lint from people’s purses in their change, sticky soda guns, throw up, you name it. The casino and night club is basically a petri dish of bacteria for years so I’m good good.

Disclaimer: Since the covid there has been a vast improvement on cleanliness overall, and my place just received the cleanest casino review from “the important people.” We’re Legit !!!

Plus, I’ve been taking my daily dose of vitamin C, D , and fuck off.

So back to Christmas. Everyone get that PS5 for lil Bobby ? If not hop on my girls raffle wheel tonight for a chance to win one. Tell a friend to tell a friend. Faces Make up Artsitry

I’ve missed my readers. I tried to do the podcast I’ll revisit it after the New Year. It’s hard out here for pimp.

I need a decent microphone and some basic equipment. No one wants to hear me do this in my car. Investors welcomed. $niclaur

Before I go, because I’m actually at work right now and I need to go hustle the one person in the casino, are we celebrating the New Year at 9:59pm? Or earlier ? We need answers!

Stay safe actually, stay woke. Love you all and appreciate every last one of you for reading and following my rants!! Happy holidays!

Remember don’t spend that stim all in one place! Cheers to the government and their ability to keep screwing us!!!

Cocktail for the Eve of Christmas :

The “Nutty” Screw Driver

Story time…

169 days since the world was turned upside down. How’s everyone doing ? I know I’m like that annoying ex who leaves you alone for a few months then pops up out of nowhere. You still love me though.

It’s been extremely annoying to date before , during and after COVID. I’m literally at a loss all across the board. I cannot make anymore dating profiles on any more sites! More recently on bumble I was asked how not to become a blog topic? Well, sir you can sign a non disclosure cause no one is safe.

Instagram is where I’ve been courted the most. Do you guys have like a copy and paste thing going on ? You all say the same thing. Hey beautiful , how you doing through all this? How original.

If I even respond, I reply, thanks I’m good. Hbu? What that really means is I haven’t worked since March, I’m hustling lashes like crack, my lifestyle has been completely flipped upside down, haven’t been able to go to Disney, and the fuckn world is at war. I AM NOT OK and I’m almost positive you aren’t either, so what’s up? You hiring ? You have money making ideas ?

I’m not interested. Just want to survive until we can get back to work. Which thank you Jesus is this FRIDAY!!!! Amen.

Aside from all my shit talking I did go on one date. Can’t say any names because he knows “sooooo many people down here in AC,” which he drilled into my head most of the night. Got it buddy you popped mad bottles at HQ2 pool party LAST year.

I had asked for him to come down my way because for the first date I think the guy should come to me. Plus I’m broke! I’m not paying gas and tolls for a stranger, what if we don’t hit it off. Obviously, had I been working and not pinching penny’s I wouldn’t think twice. Anyways, he wouldn’t come down here because his friends claim they caught the rona at Bungalow day party. Ok cool.

Atlantic City has the rona. Just AC though. Fine, I’ll come up there, after he said he’d pay my gas and tolls. Deal. When he tells me where to meet him I practically fell over laughing. Guess where this lil mofo wanted me to go?!

Chinatown!!!!! Yes, scared of corona virus at the shore but wants me to come to Chinatown in philly! That’s it I just can’t. But I went lmao. I’m not afraid of the virus. I’m scared of pink eye more than this bs.

All and all it was a chill night, he was nice. I’ll probably go on one more date because you know I’ve been reading a lot and I read that you should go on atleast 2-3 dates before you cancel someone. Plus what else is there to do anymore. Slim pickings in these streets. Even if he wants to throw on all his mis-matched designer and bring me to little Wuhan it’s all good. His name was catchy too. DonQDaddy I think ? Send help I hate it here. He might see this though. Only the strong survive, we shall see…..

Drink of the week:

Don Julio tequila sunrise

Cheers xo