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Now that Valentine’s Day and all the other dramatic holidays are over I have a series of stories to tell. Like am I on candid camera ? I swear 495 Production needs to be following me around and documenting these events.

Let’s start with my mysterious Godiva chocolate gift that was sent to my house. It was a few weeks after my birthday, so naturally I thought it was a belated gift. I had one specific person in mind. The only person that’s ever sent me anything for that matter. The card read, “Please enjoy this gift while we sort things out”- Nathan James.

(Thanks Nate)

I have no idea who Nathan James is. My first thought , clearly, was that it was something from Godiva. Maybe, backordered and it wasn’t able to be sent to me. This was probably just a little gift to hold me over for the real thing. Nathan James must be like the sales manger or something, sounds good right?

A couple of days went by and then I was more curious. I ended up Googling the name and I was way off. I had ordered a desk months ago that came damaged. Nathan James is the damn furniture company. This was a gift from them. Well, yup that confirms it, nobody loves me.

Then there was the creepy guy who walked up to the door of my hair shop while I was on the phone. He proceeded to tell me he had jungle fever and can he talk to me for a minute. Since I was on the phone it was a perfect excuse to basically ignore him. I’m naturally not a rude person, surprise, so I was nice about it but totally blew him off.

My friend who was on the phone is European. Never hearing the saying or knowing what it meant she was concerned. “Jungle fever!” Tell him he better take some Tylenol put his mask back on! It was the best part of my day. Her response lives in my head rent free forever.

Then, one of my favorite disappointments of the season. I was invited to Vegas for the weekend!!! This literally never happens to me. In true, why the hell is this my life fashion, I had to decline. It’s probably the one person that I’m actually interested in too. I wasn’t able to go for reasons only the real know.

Instead , I got to sit back and watch all his IG stories about how much fun he was having in Vegas. Salt in the wound. I guess I missed my window of opportunity because he got back with his ex a few weeks after he got home. Just in time for Valentines Day. Sucks for him.

There’s more…. we have the Facebook flirt. Consistently, he’s been going back-and-forth interacting with my stories. I was thinking he liked me. Isn’t that how it goes anymore ??

Until, he commented on a post about hair extensions. I replied, “Oh are you looking to get your hair done? Lol.” Obviously, as a joke but it definitely wasn’t funny because he was inquiring for a girl that he’s dating. He wanted to treat her for her birthday. Then he proceeds to tell me her features. Long dark hair , short, pretty face. I have to be in the twilight zone. What is actually going on. Definitely didn’t see that coming. Another one bites the dust.

Last but not least, we have to put icing on the cake that I’m going to devour. I have TWO destination weddings this year, and yup , you guessed it no date for either.

I better start to like cats because the way God is moving I’m destined to be an old cat lady. Honestly, I’m cool with that. How do you think Betty White live so long and looked so good ? She was single and she liked Vodka. I wouldn’t mind dying a legend like Betty White.

With that being said I’d like to thank Kanye’s documentary on Netflix for giving me the strength to write this blog. How can I be a famous writer if I never write ??? So thanks Ye !! Here’s to putting in more work to get this blog global !!

#jeenyus

Drink of the week : Grey Goose Screwdriver

(Unlike my love life this never disappoints)

Cheers xo

Inspo: Betty White

I haven’t been slinging drinks as much as I use to. With my new extensions salon and the amount of time I spend on TikTok I just can’t get to the casino as much as I’d like to. Who am I kidding? The goal is to eventually hang up my tray and heels! I’m not a millionaire quite yet, so I’ll stay on payroll for now. In the meantime, I’m really trying to go viral on TikTok. Like everyone else and their mother. I did make a comment that got over 57k likes on someone else’s page. Which means absolutely nothing for me, except it does confirm I am in-fact funny as hell. A true comedian. Maybe I should do stand up. Who knows.

Today, I actually had some guy hit on me in my Tiktok DM, which is a new one for me. He said he was going to be in Atlantic City next week, I should stay with him. Um, where do these people come from? No Sir, I definitely will not be staying with you, but you could take me out on a date like a gentleman. Which you’re clearly not. Do they even exist anymore? How do you know I’m even going to like you longer than five minutes? Once you’re corny to me you can never be un-corned. So there’s my dating life update in a nutshell.

Is there any kind of website where you can rent a boyfriend for Valentine’s Day? I’ll return it the next day to avoid any fees. Seriously, I’m not even in the mental space for a relationship. I’m too focused on making money and growing my businesses. There’s no time for distractions which most relationships are, personally. Therefore, if you’re not contributing to what I’m focused on or supporting me I just have to leave you on read. Plus, I’m over attracting these 25 years olds or my friends grandpas. Everyone in the middle is either married or something’s not right. What do you mean you’re still single with no kids? It’s giving Jeffrey Dahmer, just weird. Unless, you’re a crazy successful, married to the money guy, it’s just not sitting right with me.

But guess what? I’m cool with it all because I’m stress free, headache free, and I know it was the secret to Betty White’s long successful life. She didn’t have anyone’s dusty son bothering her. Which reminds me, we share the same birthday!!! Stay tuned for my birthday weekend tribute up next! In the mean time follow my TikTok like & subscribe to this blog for updates on my latest post.

Cheers 🥂

Drink of the week

The Betty White

thankful

Here goes my thanksgiving poem because I wish I could be in second grade again making turkey hands….

Inspired by everyone who makes the wheels go round so I can be the best cocktail server I can be ….

I’m thankful for my bar porters who help me empty my 400 pound bin full of glassware…

I’m thankful for my funny ass co-workers , with out you work would be boring….

I’m thankful for the people who still tip .35 cents because in ten months I can use my change to print stuff at the library.

I’m thankful for the $2 bills as tips because I’m now the Aunt who gives them out to the kids at holidays…

I’m thankful for the customers who don’t tip but are nice because it compensates for their cheapness.

I’m thankful for the generous tippers because with out you I would be re-thinking my whole existance.

I’m thankful for my bank teller who counts all my ones without judgement.

I’m thankful for the cashier at shoprite who loves me for paying in ones because she always needs change.

I’m thankful for my friend Carin who is always down to grab a drink after worker because that vent sesh and decompress time is crucial.

I’m thankful for the seamstress at work because she doesn’t judge how many times I’ve changed sizes over the years.

I’m thankful for the man at wardrobe because he gives me loner jackets even when I haven’t returned my other ten.

I’m thankful for EVS who cleans up after all the dirt balls because, ew it can get gross out here , God bless EVS.

I’m thankful for my 30 minute break so I can stuff my face and watch tik toks.

I’m thankful for the girl at starbucks for always asking how my nights going then wishing me a good rest of my night, she’s so cute.

I’m thankful for our beverage managers they’re always cool to me.

I’m thankful for the co workers who became like family you’re the best.

I’m thankful for this one fine ass bartender because its nice to look at eye candy while shlepping these drinks around.

I’m thankful for all my batenders because with out you the customers only getting “coffee soda juice.”

I’m thankful for the drink ordering system because I once hated it and now I could never go back, its too easy.

I’m thankful for my friend Arianna who is always up when I get off and lets me vent about work.

I’m thankful for my foot massage spot, $40 for 40 minutes of pure bliss, my feet love you.

I’m thankful for my co-worker who I ran into the other night, he asked me whats up with my blog? Thank you!

I’m thankful for the readers who still stick beside me even when I have’nt written in months.

Drink of the week :

Thanks Given

Cheers xo

Ride or die…

This one is long over due. My memory was triggered last night at work when I kept seeing security escort parents off the casino floor with their children. Not sure if you’re aware, but children can’t even walk through the slot machines to get from A to B. They have to walk on the main path ways away from the “casino floor.” Rightfully so, nobody wants the hefty fines from the gaming commission.

This made me think about how true gamblers will do anything for a chance to hit big. Like drag their children all over the casino, or bring their friend, whose on life support to sit with you while you gamble your free play. I’m dead serious pun intended.

I had to pass through this section, one night, to get to my bar. In my side view I saw a bed and said to myself , “What the hell? I turned my head to see that this lady was playing slots with someone next to her in a damn hospital bed laid out. I kid you not! I was shook because is this person alive ? They literally looked like they where in a vegetative state. I done seen it all after this one. She had a blanket on her with some fuzzy Christmas socks on. Like what ? I can never unsee this.

What was this person thinking seriously? I’m not letting my slot play go to waste? Maybe if I hit the Jack pot Lucy will wake up? Nothing was stopping this lady. She brought her ride or die for real . It was seriously hard to see each time I had to walk by. People where stopping and looking in shock. While the lady just kept playing like this was completely normal.

This was beyond extra. I felt bad for the person but I mean she did look comfy. It was just a mess to see. Then when I told my co-workers what was goin on someone said they seen her before at another casino !!!! They had a picture of her but do to whatever ethics I have I’m not going to post it. It’s too disturbing.

I mean I’ve seen people bring pets and I even feel bad for them! It’s loud , smoky, and these people sit for hours on end and don’t even take themselves to go pee. So you can imagine how this was for me. I was happy when she left , I hope you brought your people back to the hospital. That was crazy!!! Next time bring a lucky rabbits foot instead of your unconscious friend.

Drink of the week: Liquid Xanex so we can be like Lucy.

Cheers xo

First time for everything

In all the years I’ve been in the serving industry I’ve never spilled a drink on someone. Shocking, because I can barely hold my tray. I hate martini and champagne glasses because my hand is shakey. I’m actually proud I’ve never spilled a drink on anyone. There have been times I’ve dropped a drink on the floor or someone knocked my tray over. Guess there’s a first for everything.

I spilled a shot of Jack on some lady’s arm over the weekend. When I went to hand her the drink I must of looked down or away and I never connected the class to her hand. I was apologetic of course, gave her a napkin and reassured her I’d be back with another one. You would have thought I spilled red wine on her white outfit!

If looks could kill I’d be six feet under. The girls would of had a funeral for me right then and there in Aero Smith. (our sections are named after famous musicians lol) Luckily, they don’t kill and she was just miserable with or with out Jack Daniels on her arm.

( Me on break hoping the lady I spilled a drink on left )

So, now that that’s out of way, another thing that’s never happened to me is getting a purple chip ($500) or better. I feel like that’s about to happen next!

Drink of the week Whiskey Lemonade you should use Jack Daniels and don’t spill it.

Cheers xo

M.I.A

I know you probably thought I quit the Blog!!! I have been extremely busy. Most recently with gods grace I’ve been able to pursue my other dream! No, not being a member of destiny’s child, but owning my own hair salon! So cool right ? Not just any salon though. We are an extensions bar specializing in hair extensions , wigs , braids and hair treatments.

Just like this cocktailing thing, owning your own biz is not for the weak. Seriously! If I have to fill out one more paper, fax another document, write another check (municipal systems still take checks don’t judge me) I’m going to scream!

I’m happy to announce I have not become a victim of alcohol or drug dependancies during this process but boy has it crossed my mind. I’ve never had to use my customer service voice this much in my life. Trying to sound like I know what I’m talking about for permit applications, zoning shit, and whatever else comes with a new biz is draining. I was hoping to meet a hot construction worker but eh I guess it’s true what they say. The retired ones do all the paper work because I have yet to see the ones in those calendars.

Yet, me and Susan at the front desk are besties now. Around the 40th phone call I made, I told her you’re either going to hate me or be my best friend when this is all over ! I can’t tell yet but I hope I made friend.

Anyway, so that’s what I’ve been upto all this time. Summer literally passed me by and I couldn’t tell you if I ever made it to the beach. The last five months have been a blur.

Cocktailing has even taken a back seat. I have barely been in the casino so I’m sad to say I have no funny stories. Unless, you count my secret crush wiping me off because someone spilled an entire Heineken on me.

I’m a little nervous if he reads this. Fingers crossed he doesn’t. So yeah, I have a little baby crush on a co- worker. I was completely stuck when this was actually happening like statue stuck. Frozen. Shook. Embarrassed.

The beer flew up and spilled all over my back. I had been facing away from the girls tray. I felt the beer all over my legs and just stood there. Next thing I know, god said I have a treat for you! Here comes my crush to save the day! He came from behind the bar started to pat me dry with paper towels. Omg , omg, is this really happening ???! I was dying!

That’s it we’re gettn married! In my head I was picking out my brides maids ! Jk. I’m not that girl but I did bask in the moment.

Back to reality, that was cool and I honestly don’t remember any shifts after that bc I’ve been too busy with opening the salon. But now I’m running out of money so my ass needs to go back and beg for my change again. Which is cool bc being a cocktail server in the casino means we don’t have personally have a coin shortage.

Reminder: These people still tip change and it’s cool now because I pay with exact change…

The signs, “Coin shortage exact change only,” move over I got it. Hopefully, I’m back on my writing but I can’t promise anything. Oh, how could I forget !!! Confessions of a Cocktail Server now has a shop! Yes, I launched that this summer ! Defiantly check it out … Shop

Drink of the week:

Busy Bee

Cheers xo

There’s a lady in the room!

In all the years I’ve been cocktailing , with all the rude customers, smart ass people , sexual comments, dumb questions etc…I’ve never heard someone speak so low of us. I’ve never heard someone insult what we do for a living or categorize us as uneducated , easy or dumb. EVER….

Maybe, because working and growing up in Atlantic City, cocktailing or bartending is normal and a huge opportunity for us. I don’t know, call me crazy, but I definitely never knew about this stereo type. Thanks for enlightening me though, to the bozo who works in my casino, in a whole different department, that seems to know it all. No names because I’m nice….

The other day, I walked into my service bar and happened to be the only female server in there at the moment. Three guys : a bar back , bartender , and some dude from whatever department, were talking. FYI This isn’t a classic bar joke this really happened.

Mainly, the guy whose position I won’t say, kept going on and on about how many girls he use to get because he worked this industry. How it was easy it was. Lets just say he wasn’t bragging about wine-n-dining or being a gentleman …. He was being ratchet and filthy I wanted to puke.

I cut them all of and said, “Hey, there’s a lady in the room! I gave a fake laugh and said it sarcastically because that’s me , “I’m not that much of a lady but still….” JOKINGLY my bartender and bar back know me ….

He replied in a non-joking tone – “Yeah, you’re a cocktail server.” My face turned stone cold! …. God, please don’t let me lose my job today – I repeated this legit a bunch of times then I turned myself around and acted like I was making coffee. He continued to tell stories which were total lies because if you could see this guy….gross and won’t shut the hell up! When I get mad I see red and do not have control over my actions so to safe myself I had to bite my tongue and vent to you.

The last time he was in my bar he was showing pictures of his new puppy and totally singing another tune. He definitely was a dork his whole life. He wishes his wife was cocktail server working 6 hours a shift coming home weekly with probably his whole paycheck … I wanted to go off on this big shrek looking clown. He wishes he could even get with in two feet of one us….

He carried on about strip clubs and how they’re the worst and he would never date anyone who worked in one. That they ALL have STDs and are dirty …. I couldn’t help but laugh obnoxiously…Sir … excuse me , hate to be rude but no one would date you ! So don’t worry about that.

By the way you look and talk it wouldn’t take much for a dancer to milk you for all you got and you def wouldn’t tell her to get off your lap. So save it. You won’t be thinking about a STD then either. I can put all my money on it….

You know, what we do may not be ideal in the cookie cutter world. We definitely didn’t dream about it kindergarten or anything like that but it pays the bills. It’s a really great side job, main job, job through college, summer job whatever … I’ve seen co- workers buy homes, pay off debt , start businesses , start a blog, raise children, travel the world, get boob jobs and more!!!! We are far from dumb and only a few I know are easy … lmao

As long as you still have your two legs, two hands , and can say coffee , soda , juice you can do this until your 80 if you damn well please … Thank the union for that though … not all cocktail jobs have a union or are created equal but I’m saying … Just do not Come for my cocktail severs unless we send for you !!!

♥️

Cheers xo

Drink of the weekend :

The Money Maker $

$$$

Maskless Eve & MDW!!!!

Memorial Day weekend 2021, is something special …. A memorial of lives lost serving our country, MOST IMPORTANTLY, but also a celebration of getting our life and freedom back for the most part ! Wow, never thought I’d have to say “getting our freedom back,” but OUR little armpit of America, New Jersey, is finally opening up! A very long drawn out 15 months of closures, restrictions, masks , social distancing, toilet paper shortages, virtual learning and complete chaos, we ARE over it!!!!! We’ve had to sit back and watch other states open up and roam free while we where here like the red headed step child, along with PA and NY. But we made it !!!! Now, we just have to get through the vaccination bribes…..

This Maskless eve I will be leaving cookies under the tree for Mrs. Coronavirus and going to bed early. I figure she’s a women because a man wouldn’t stay around this long and only a woman could be this damn complicated!

Actually, I might stay up late and burn my masks for a full moon ritual. Letting go of the fuckery …. Still want to know if masks are a tax write off….

I’m anticipating greasy old men harassing me to smile like old times, which I’m prepared for because the more things change the more they stay the same. Fake laugh, and keep it moving. Yet, tomorrow I will be smiling ear to ear at work in my red lipstick that has been collecting dust . I hope I still remember how to put it on, it’s like riding a bike right ?

All the slot machines will be turned on, over 80 chairs will be added to the table games floor, the day clubs will be open, no more capacity limits, and just like that Atlantic City is back!

Can’t wait to see all your beautiful faces and finally hear you clearly when you order your drinks !!!

Drink of the weekend :

Liberty Cocktail

Science project…

Since we’ve switched to plastic cups and paper straws at work, due to COVID shenanigans and the whole save the turtles thing, I’ve been noticing something …

I’ve always known that men cannot multi task. No offense just facts. Obviously, there are some that can. I only know one, my best friend, Joe M. Brother from another.

I learned, while trying to figure out my past relationships, that men’s brains are compartmentalized. So everything in their brain is like in its own section. They can only focus on one section at a time. Ladies and gents, this is why they will not answer you during football or any sports or while playing video games. Not because they don’t care what you have to say, well maybe, but no they just physically can’t! While us women , our brains are wired like a bowl of spaghetti. A fucking mess! Meaning, it’s a crazy maze and we can do more than one thing at once. Prime example, when we’re putting something away and next we are cleaning out the damn attic. Then 76 other things come to mind and we have to do them too. All while on the phone talking about Bobby’s little league game car pool and cooking dinner. Real life super heroes….

( Service bar selfies )

I swear I have a point here….When I’m passing a customer their drink, napkin and straw they usually are only using one hand. The other hand is digging for the tip or playing the slot machine.

This is when it gets awkward because I’m just standing their waiting for them to get their life together.

Here goes the observation : As I hand them the drink, then the pre- wrapped straw (covid safety) mostly the women , I have noticed can grab the straw with the same hand the drink is in by wrapping a finger around it.

Men , cannot do that! It’s pretty hilarious now that I’ve been peeping this whole thing. Basically it’s a game for me and a whole science project! The statistics are pretty clear. They fumble and have to use the other hand to grab the straw. Men just can’t multi task and that’s ok because you guys are good at other things like getting on our nerves. Just a fun rant ! Enjoy the rest of the week and men don’t be offended I’m sure we annoy you just as much. Actually, I know we do ; )

Drink of the week: something easy so you don’t have to do too much thinking and you don’t need a straw.

Corona with lime !

Cheers xo

Full trays

I feel like I was ran over by a Mac truck after my work week! Some kind of crazy slot promo at the casino and I got my ass kicked…

Yes, cocktail servers look cute and all but there’s nothing cute about carrying a heavy double stacked tray, in two inch heels, in a uniform you can’t breath in, with people standing in your way. I’ve said this before this job isn’t for the weak. We definitely deal with more than people think. Hence the inspo for the blog you know and love 🙂

I love when my tray is completely full ($$$) and someone has the nerve to ask me if I have any extra water. There’s no room on my tray for even a thought of water. That’s how packed it is on this beautiful little money maker. I would love to say look , look at this packed ass tray ! But in my customer service voice, I tell them no but I’ll bring you one no problem. It’s actually a huge problem because now I have to remember this extra water along with 200 other things going on at the same time. Thank god I’m good at multi tasking.

I’m not sure what’s worse that extra water question or if someone needs me to break change for anything more than a five dollar bill! The worst. I feel like they expect me to have 8 hands like I’m a damn octopus. The only thing that makes these overwhelming shifts worth it is counting the money at the end of the day, clearly.

Yet, even then, my body feels like I should have made 700 dollars sometimes. I’m grateful though, always , for even being back to work after the year we had. Surprisingly, business has been extremely busy since the reopen. Amen !

After ranting about how much my feet hurt since we’ve been back and busy, someone decided to give me the best gift I received this year. A foot massager ! It has changed my life! I use it after every shift and it can’t be explained how good it feels. Just think, if u could bring your favorite pedicure tech home with you, ok so it can be explained because that’s it right there. It’s like having pedicure massage everyday!

Speaking of gifts I have a story….

There’s this one customer who I have never served while he is actually playing. He always walks up to the service bar and shouts annoyingly, “ lemme get a redbull and a water !” Granted he tips $2 , eye roll, he’s still annoying as hell because why are you acting entitled ? Sit down like everyone else!

Yet, most of us serve him because it’s just easier than explaining protocol. He surprised me the other day though. There was a giveaway at the casino , common, and I saw he had one. As I passed him I asked him what it was. He was like, “here you want it ?”

Merry Christmas to me! It was in celebration of Earth Day, a whole pack of reusable bags and one was insulated! The way in the world’s going with paper straws, all the shoprites are probably going to be BYOB soon.

Unfortunately, not bring your own booze! But bring your own damn bag. So I was a ecstatic! Plus customer don’t give me gifts like that so I considered it flirting or he just didn’t want to carry it around all day. Now, anytime he hollers for a Red Bull and water I run it out to him like a little servant with a smile, maybe he’ll give me his next giveaway! I hope it’s like a mini grill or a bottle of wine, maybe diamonds, you know regular shit.

One of my other players has a collection of giveaways. He’s like a hoarder of casino giveaways, he goes to every casino just to pick up his gifts sometimes. I hate to see what his basement looks like. He probably has every single casino giveaway Atlantic City ever offered since 1989! But I would be same if I gambled like that. If it’s free it’s for me! These people spend a lot of money gambling, so I guess they deserve it even if it’s something cheesy.

Drink of the week: let’s make something with Red Bull as a thanks to that guy for my new reusable bags!

Cheers!

Excitabull