Fa-la-la

Dear Santa,

I need about 62 stim checks and a bottle of Baccarat Rouge.

Love,

your favorite ho.

I set a reminder to write today. Pathetic I know. It’s Christmas Eve! Everyone excited? Or did the worldly events completely drain your mind, body and spirit like mine? The mask has actually come in handy for keeping my face warm outside. Especially, when I’m at the bars. Gets kinda cold. What a time to be alive! But guess what ? The people still love the casino ! Which is a good thing for me and my cocktail servers. Bartenders, not so much I’m sorry. Even though Murphs gave us a curfew it doesn’t stop the people, they just get drunk earlier. Where there is a will there’s a way. Anyone who comes to AC to gamble really isn’t concerned with the virus. Especially, when they order a drink and pull down their mask to speak to me.

I’m already convinced I’m immune to this based on the simple fact I’ve worked in less than perfect conditions for years. Musty, moldy, unventilated establishments. People who literally cough freely and I’ve walked right into it. Nose pickers, lint from people’s purses in their change, sticky soda guns, throw up, you name it. The casino and night club is basically a petri dish of bacteria for years so I’m good good.

Disclaimer: Since the covid there has been a vast improvement on cleanliness overall, and my place just received the cleanest casino review from “the important people.” We’re Legit !!!

Plus, I’ve been taking my daily dose of vitamin C, D , and fuck off.

So back to Christmas. Everyone get that PS5 for lil Bobby ? If not hop on my girls raffle wheel tonight for a chance to win one. Tell a friend to tell a friend. Faces Make up Artsitry

I’ve missed my readers. I tried to do the podcast I’ll revisit it after the New Year. It’s hard out here for pimp.

I need a decent microphone and some basic equipment. No one wants to hear me do this in my car. Investors welcomed. $niclaur

Before I go, because I’m actually at work right now and I need to go hustle the one person in the casino, are we celebrating the New Year at 9:59pm? Or earlier ? We need answers!

Stay safe actually, stay woke. Love you all and appreciate every last one of you for reading and following my rants!! Happy holidays!

Remember don’t spend that stim all in one place! Cheers to the government and their ability to keep screwing us!!!

Cocktail for the Eve of Christmas :

The “Nutty” Screw Driver

Story time…

169 days since the world was turned upside down. How’s everyone doing ? I know I’m like that annoying ex who leaves you alone for a few months then pops up out of nowhere. You still love me though.

It’s been extremely annoying to date before , during and after COVID. I’m literally at a loss all across the board. I cannot make anymore dating profiles on any more sites! More recently on bumble I was asked how not to become a blog topic? Well, sir you can sign a non disclosure cause no one is safe.

Instagram is where I’ve been courted the most. Do you guys have like a copy and paste thing going on ? You all say the same thing. Hey beautiful , how you doing through all this? How original.

If I even respond, I reply, thanks I’m good. Hbu? What that really means is I haven’t worked since March, I’m hustling lashes like crack, my lifestyle has been completely flipped upside down, haven’t been able to go to Disney, and the fuckn world is at war. I AM NOT OK and I’m almost positive you aren’t either, so what’s up? You hiring ? You have money making ideas ?

I’m not interested. Just want to survive until we can get back to work. Which thank you Jesus is this FRIDAY!!!! Amen.

Aside from all my shit talking I did go on one date. Can’t say any names because he knows “sooooo many people down here in AC,” which he drilled into my head most of the night. Got it buddy you popped mad bottles at HQ2 pool party LAST year.

I had asked for him to come down my way because for the first date I think the guy should come to me. Plus I’m broke! I’m not paying gas and tolls for a stranger, what if we don’t hit it off. Obviously, had I been working and not pinching penny’s I wouldn’t think twice. Anyways, he wouldn’t come down here because his friends claim they caught the rona at Bungalow day party. Ok cool.

Atlantic City has the rona. Just AC though. Fine, I’ll come up there, after he said he’d pay my gas and tolls. Deal. When he tells me where to meet him I practically fell over laughing. Guess where this lil mofo wanted me to go?!

Chinatown!!!!! Yes, scared of corona virus at the shore but wants me to come to Chinatown in philly! That’s it I just can’t. But I went lmao. I’m not afraid of the virus. I’m scared of pink eye more than this bs.

All and all it was a chill night, he was nice. I’ll probably go on one more date because you know I’ve been reading a lot and I read that you should go on atleast 2-3 dates before you cancel someone. Plus what else is there to do anymore. Slim pickings in these streets. Even if he wants to throw on all his mis-matched designer and bring me to little Wuhan it’s all good. His name was catchy too. DonQDaddy I think ? Send help I hate it here. He might see this though. Only the strong survive, we shall see…..

Drink of the week:

Don Julio tequila sunrise

Cheers xo

Summer 2020

Five months and counting , and I’m still here going strong! Places have begun to open up in Jersey. Atlantic City Casinos are open, yet no cocktail servers. Never thought I would see the day where you can gamble but can’t have a cocktail. Byob at the casino. Talk about roaring 20s! Prohibitions back…

My poor cocktail server family, and poor as in we’re broke as hell! Luckily, you can Venmo Cash app or Go Fund us at:

http://www.confessionsofacocktailserver.com.

Since things have been opening up, I’ve been thrilled to go anywhere that’s not ShopRite or Walmart! Getting supplies was about the most exciting thing ever during quarantine!

I met up with my girl the other night at Bungalow , a hookah spot on the beach. Her and I were talking, in our own world, and two dudes came up with their masks on. (good citizens) They tried to sit with us. Hello social distancing! You could tell in our faces we weren’t interested but proceeded to be nice and listen to what one of them was about to say.

You ready ?

The new pick up line of 2020 folks, “I just want you ladies to know I’m virus FREE”- I nearly fell into the sand I was laughing so hard. Is this real life right now? What about all the other viruses that are actually important? AIDS, Clamydia, you know, the STDS no one really cares about as long as Covid is around and thriving. I really can not deal.

I’m convinced I’ll be single for life at this point. I mean you can’t even see what anyone looks like. Yes I’m shallow , looks mean something to me. Although, my friends will argue this considering my last crush. (Insider)

What if you like how someone looks from the mask up and boom they have jacked up teeth, bad breath, or both ! It’s like looks really can’t matter AT ALL anymore. Excuse me, can you pull down your mask ? Then we can see if you’re an 8 or 6.5.

How about getting ready to go anywhere? Can’t forget my mask. Does this mask match my top ? Hey girl you have an extra mask I forgot mine? These masks are in the way and uncomfortable.

Masks are just as important as your i .d to get into places now. Which is also the best time ever to get in with a fake! No one asks you take off your mask! It’s actually a little scary because they didn’t even ask me at the airport to pull my mask down, I could have been drug lord after all.

Masks off

I can’t even lick my fingers to separate the plastic produce bags at the grocery store anymore. Anyone else having difficulty with this ? Or am I the reason this pandemic started ? 🤣 Oh and this talk about being a cashless society? Spare me, I haven’t had cash on hand since the Casino closed. I’ve never used my debit card so much in my life. There’s too many conspiracy theorists, it’s ruining my botox. There’s no cash circulating because nothing has been open for months!

Yes, I was first in line when medi spas opened. Especially now, my big ass forehead is all you see wearing this mask. So it has to be smooth and frozen. Lashes , brows, and botox! That’s all I’m worried about now. Saving a lot of money on make up too. Only have to do half my face. Lipstick ?! A thing of the past!

Keep washing your hands, your ass, and always remember the mask goes over your nose. One more thing if you wear your mask in your own car or to the beach you probably were breast fed till the age of 10. Am I wrong?

To kick off week 4 of “outside” opening, the drink of the week – This Truly Rose since it’s been the most un-summerish summer ever… this might cheer us up.

Cheers xo

New Norm 😩

Here we are, 3 months living in a sci-fi movie. It’s seriously they most craziest shit I’ve ever experience since 9/11.

I may just be a little ol’cocktail server but I think this shit is all political and fueled by greed, power, and money. Yes, the virus is real , I’m not denying that but it definitely was man made and well, google the rest.

How the hell are we ever going to be normal again??

I have had three doctors appointments since the rona and I felt like an alien all three times. Disclaimer: none were Covid related

rolls eyes…..

My visit to urgent care was anything but easy. Had to fully detail my symptoms over the phone. Then wait for a in person visit or a zoom appointment. My ears were clogged and it wasn’t going away. No flu symptoms, no fever just needed them to give me something or flush my ears out. I’ve had this problem years ago. Anyway, I was cleared to come in. Once I got there, I was told to wait in my car until the nurse called my phone to come in.

Everything was blocked off with plastic shields , what a time to own that type of business. Liquor stores and plexiglass who knew? Swiftly, they ushered me in the room and I get questioned another 100 times about fevers and traveling. I have my mask on and we already know the shit is beyond uncomfortable. I mean I even hated the stupid snap filter, like was that a sign?

Back to my ear situation, she told me she was going to flush my ears out with this device. She draped what looked like a dog pee pad over my shoulder so I wouldn’t get wet. Ok great.

So picture this , I have a mask on, can barely breath, a huge pad on my shoulder, and trying to hold a cup to catch the water. I felt like I was going to pass out. She proceeds to flush out my left ear and then tells me to switch the pad thing to other side. I could not do all this with the mask on , holding some cup and the pad! I legit ripped the pad off, took off my jacket and said “I don’t care of I get wet. I’m hot as hell.”

She was cool about it. I was way more comfortable when she did the other ear, but let me tell you I looked like I just left a girls gone wild wet T-shirt contest!!! Water got everywhere !!!

When she was finished she said the doctor would be in to check my ears. Great , the doctor was actually kind of cute and here I am with a my T-shirt soaked. Oh well , lucky him, the mask was enough to keep me distracted.

He gave me a paper that said the text book definition of a clogged ear and sent me on my way.

I actually took the time to read it , what else was there to do? So I’m reading it and it says that people with narrow ear canals and old people can be more susceptible to clogged ears. Wow, not only is my bank account narrow my ear canals are as well, and I’m aging, awesome.

After that bs I took myself back to my four corners to quarantined some more. I was so drained! Makes me never want to go to a drs. office again! Unless it’s for botox !!

Cheers 🥂

Drink of the week:

Doctor no. 1

#newnorm #socialdistancing #2020

Lifer….

My very first cocktail job seems like ages ago! I came from being a Hooters Girl straight into the lions den. The casino. Luckily, I was able to ease my way into it because I was hired as a lounge girl first. (i.e. not on the casino floor)

I’ve never held a tray in my life at this point. At Hooters we just used our hands. Couldn’t balance a tray for shit, but I could carry three sodas and three bottles of beer in my hands like a pro.

So here we go. My training was coming up. I complained about it for days. I was so nervous, how am I going to carry this tray? Literally, it gave me anxiety, couldn’t sleep over it. Nightmares of dropping my tray. I tried everything not to go. I wanted to make up some bogus excuse. My boyfriend at the time convinced me to go and get it over with. Plus, I couldn’t go back to Hooters my time there was done. The day they made me go on the boardwalk and play leap frog like a circus animal, it was over. No turning back.

So I went ….

The girl who trained me was super cute, nice, and she looked like a professional cocktail server, if there’s such an image. She handed me a tray and ofcourse asked, “Have you ever cocktailed before?” I answered no, and she replied, “It’s easy.”

It was only her working the whole lounge that night. She looked pretty busy. After showing me the computer, she actually told me to take the other half of the room. Wow, she believed in me! I dove into this cocktail thing head first. The tray was uncomfortable and I probably looked awkward as hell. Old dudes were hitting on me and being gross per usual. I was already use to that from Hooters. In this biz if you don’t have thick skin, forget it.

On my break everyone had been texting me how it was going. I replied casually, still not that confident, and went on with my shift. After a few hours, my trainer said I could probably leave. I organized my tips and handed them to her. You see, the rule is, when you’re training you don’t take any tips because you’re getting paid a training rate, not the usual 2-4 dollars waitresses, waiters and cocktail servers make. (a note for all you

non- tippin asses out there.)

I was surprised, she told me to keep the tips and she’ll see me the following day. I didn’t really count the tips because I knew they weren’t for me. But boy, when I saw I made a bazzillion dollars in just a few hours! I was only serving drinks, had my own bus boy and I was “training”. I’ll tell you what, I was never scared of that damn tray again! This was triple the money and less work compared to serving wings. It was like the arch angels singing in my ears. That was my golden spoon, my new bestie. I loved that damn tray. Still do.

Now, carrying martini glasses, I’m still scared to death of them! Lmao

All good things do come to an end they say. I worked in that lounge for the summer because I was seasonal. Meaning just hired for the busy summer months. Luckily, not long after that I landed a bottler server job for 4 years $$$$$ Then ended up at my first job cocktailing on the casino floor.

Which is way different then serving in a lounge or night club. Drinks are free on the casino floor and it’s a totally different beast.

I remember my first day cocktailing on the floor too. I was lost. Could not find my way around the slot machines. It was a colorful maze and I was stressed the hell out. A seasoned cocktail server looked at me and said, “This job is so easy a monkey could to do it.” I laughed. Every-time I think of her saying that I really picture a little monkey actually cocktailing. It didn’t take long to get used to the stations. She was right it was easy.

I was at this casino for about 6/7 years, made some great friends, was inspired to write this blog, and have some of the best stories and memories forever. Plus made some really good money!

And now here I am, cocktailing at one of the newest and busiest casinos in Atlantic City. Who would of thought my little scared ass would be cocktailing this long and even create a blog about it. I’m a lifer now…

All that’s left is to take over the world one cocktail at a time …

Trays up!

Comment , like , share

Cheers xo

Drink of the week, a popular casino cocktail –

Nuts & Berries

What day is it ?

This is seriously something out of a movie. Just like any other world disaster I’m sure film makers are in the works for this one. I almost made T-shirt’s and still might. Even though my mom thought it was offensive. “I survived Quarantine 2020” with cocktails underneath. I mean I haven’t completely survived yet but when we all do I’m sending them to print. Place your orders now.

I have taken any and all opportunities to go to ShopRite, Cvs, and the liquor store, which is deemed essential in New Jersey thank you Jesus. I’ve been to ShopRite for things I know I’ll be fine with out, example 2 million eggs.

I know your thinking I’m crazy and contaminated by now. I promise I don’t go in the store every time, I’m unemployed dammit. Sometimes I sit in my car and just pretend. When I’m not doing that I’m eating like I’m pregnant with triplets. It’s disgusting, yet satisfying, how much I’ve been eating.

Today my sister needed stuff at Target. I waited by her car and kept an eye on her children from outside. Is that safe enough ? Anyway, we were all thrilled to have some kind of human interaction. During the 6 ft rule, while babysitting, I noticed fifty cents stunt devil cruising around. I kid you not, he had no shirt on driving a bmw with the top down. He was blasting music, driving slow, cell phone in his ear and these damn gold chains. Maybe he was pretending we were on Ocean drive in Miami. Anything to feel normal. Hey, I support it , wish I was quick enough to record it. After that I heard two guys call out, “Hey beautiful,” I looked around, it was only me in the parking lot standing there. I didn’t reply because that’s creepy. People really have been inside way too long. I look like I just escaped prison. Well didn’t I ? No lashes, nails about to fall off, roots longer then an oak tree, and I was wearing my favorite People of Walmart leggings. I mean a Blobfish would of been beautiful to them at this point . It was nice to hear though since all I’ve heard for last 14 days is , well, you know. I’m not giving it an ounce of attention in this blog.

Anyone know what time it is ? What day it is ? Me either all I do know is anything goes and? I’ll allow it at this point. Vodka for breakfast? Sure, it’s also a great disinfectant. Ice cream for dinner? Sounds good. It’s 5:00 all day long! Hope we get the hell back to whining and complaining about work, life, all our meaningless problems sooner then later. I sure do miss it.

Cheers

Drink recipe : vodka vodka vodka

Quarantine & chill

Yesterday I witnessed something never before. The casino closed. Since 1978, the Atlantic City casinos have only closed 5 times , including yesterday. All for Hurricanes. I am in disbelief how crazy this “buy all the toilet paper and chicken,” virus is. The world is completely gone nuts. I feel like I’m in a bad dream.

As I walked out of work yesterday, not knowing when I’ll be back, I fought the tears. Tears because I’m freaking out about my livelihood. Cocktail servers are tipped employees. Unemployment is like , well you do the math. This is scary. (Go fund me link will be attached below.) Any amount helps. I’ll take toilet paper or chicken as well.

Totally not worried about catching this virus though. I practically work in a petri dish. People hack and sneeze in my personal space all day long. Scratch their ass and hand me crusty dollar bills. I probably been exposed to this shit years ago. #Immunity

On the way to my car, I thought what would be something to brighten up such terrible news? A White House sub ! Guess what? They were closed. I was pist. Anything else government ? Can’t even stuff my face with a cheesesteak to feel better.

Then I thought of my degenerates. My babies. My heart aches for them . Where will they go , what will they do while the casinos are closed ? What does their life consist of if not sitting at the slots for 6 hours day in and day out? Who will make their coffee with 5 sugars, one cream, stirred three times to the left ? Who will stand there while they clean their purse out looking for change? Where will they eat if I can’t get them an abundance of olives and cherries ? Omg, where will they get their figi water from? Who will get them their coke soda or titos vodka ? This is too much to handle. What about the bums who collect money from patrons each day to buy their crack? This is just like dominos. We’re all effected! But hey I guess we might be broke and withdrawing but we won’t have coronavirus! Well, that’s good then.

It’s only been day one of this social distancing , quarantine thing and I ate all my feelings and snacks! What the hell am I going to do now ? Self medicate and chug wine ? Great idea!

I’m contemplating taking a flight to Florida. Rather be stuck under a palm tree then this shit.

I’m Signing off.

Stay safe everyone and by that I mean don’t kill the people you’re quarantined with, wait at least 48-72 hours.

Drink recipe below , because what else is there to do ?

Quarantini

Get me tissues please…

Warning : not my usual content 😢

Honestly, I wasn’t going to write about this. I wasn’t going to expose this side of my life. I like to keep it light, keep it funny. This has been weighing on me heavy. I have to. Writing is my passion, it’s my outlet. I figure we all can relate and maybe can connect a little deeper. Here goes.

Four months ago, a very dear friend of mine passed away. I have experienced deaths of loved ones before as most of us have. It sucks. It really fuckn sucks. This heart break was a little different. As each person in our life respectfully holds a different place, a different piece of us …

I wanted to share my letter to him:

I hate that I’m writing you this way and it’s not just a text “wya”….

I hate that you can’t pop up unannounced and take my pain away for the night or day by your presence. You were always spontaneous, you had a way about you that no matter what someone was going through , we forgot about it. We had fun.

Your laugh was infectious, your generosity will always be unmatched. There will never be anyone like you! You came into my life at the perfect time. Your energy was exactly what was needed. I was going through some of the worst times in my adult life when we became close.

Care free ,stress free , and over the top was the mood every single time we were all together. Somehow it was meant to be. Not this part though. You weren’t suppose to go.

The three of us were like a family.

You were like the big brother I never had.

You always made sure everyone around you was good. You never let me turn down a shot either. But hey we could hang lol. Nikkkkkkiii , ugh I can hear you now.

You thought I was so funny. Making you laugh was therapeutic. (what’s therapeutic mean? “gooooogle it.”)

Your smile , your character, it’s just unforgettable. At times when you couldn’t come around because you had your responsibilities, like the rest of us, we would say damn when’s he popping up next ? I would miss you lol. Waiting for the call to escape reality for a few hours, sike, more like breaking dawn. Oh the hangovers ! Somehow you never had those lol. You were so much fun. WE , were so much fun. I never met someone like you. You were a great father, provider, son, friend, brother. I hope you knew how much I loved you. You helped me in so many ways, I don’t even think you realized what you did for my mental state. I had some dark days and all of us being together were some of the brightest. It’s crazy. I thought you’d be here forever. Remember when we went to Disney ? Legit just booked a trip to Disney , went to Epcot but they didn’t have Ciroc coconut so we left!

Of course, after I took all my pics and we went to Morocco & Italy lmao. I miss you man, how about on my birthday? Another great one for the books. There’s so many. I’ll treasure our jokes , our stupid nick names , everything, I’ll never forget you. I know you popped up on my bday this year. I felt your energy. I had so many signs from you. Thank you.

I wish we could have one more night, one more laugh , one more time to all be together. You really just never know, it’s so true. Laugh hard, love hard, and don’t let a day go bye without letting people know what they mean to you !!!

There you go with your damn chapstick …

Until we meet again xo

Save me a seat , and order me a Jamie neat no Henny!!!! And they better have my favorite chicharrones up there !!!

Love you Rellis

Boof that!

Xoxo ,

SW

(How signs work, I wrote this entry as a draft in the airport on my way to disney. When I was at the flower & garden festival at Epcot I looked up and saw this !!! My nick name xo)

In loving memory the drink recipe is for him… depending on the bar, the night, & mood :

Coconut Ciroc chilled

Continue reading “Get me tissues please…”

Cocktails & Weave

Entry 2 of the 5 month catch up….

I also embarked on another new career path. Nope, still not a doctor or lawyer. I went to New York in November to take a certification class. Bellami Pro trained me on how to install four different methods of hair extensions!!!!

Bellami beauty bar NYC !!!

I’ve always had a passion for hair and makeup. College was cool but I was really drawn to aesthetics. In 2009, I put myself through beauty school. I loved every minute of it. Except, the school was rachet as hell and the hot water never worked. When it did the pipes would leak. Oh and there wasn’t any parking, every two hours we would have to race outside and move our cars. We had some great times there though and I made some amazing friends. Dennis, if you’re reading, how much fun was it starting the annual hair show ! We left a legacy , they do it every year now !

I was also a young mom. Literally, twenty something ,my baby was a toddler, I was in school 5 days and working 5 nights. It was stressful as hell. During that time is when I actually entered the cocktailing world! I was hired as a bottle server on Fridays & Saturday’s (big money) and cocktailed during the week at a lounge. I was deathly afraid of carrying a tray. Funny, I still haven’t mastered my tray lmao! It was my first real casino job , it was so different from lil old Hooters. Which was just inside a casino but not affiliated.

I was making so much money! Like crazy money. When I graduated hair school I wasn’t willing to leave that to build my book in a salon making 7 dollars an hour shampooing. I know it sounds rude but I had a baby to feed. It wasn’t rocket science for me.

There was just no way.

So, I’ve never really put 100 percent in perfecting my craft like one should and needs to do in the beauty biz. It’s the only way to make the real money. I just didn’t have it in me or time to invest. Do i have any regrets ? No , I just wish I could have had rich sugar daddy funneling me money while I built my book in a salon. But wasn’t in my cards.

Here we are a decade later and with social media so insane, I’ve had the ability to make a small clientele (for now) and actually start my own hair Buisness!!! I absolutely love doing extensions!! Make sure you follow my IG & FB page too!

How exciting! Now, while I’m doing your hair I can serve you cocktails. It’s a win win.

Cheers xo

@ext.609 instagram

Facebook page

Miss me ?

A lot has happened in 5 months! Good news ! I haven’t quit my blog and I apologize to my loyal readers. I literally have so much to write about, yet something was holding me back. I blamed writers block, laziness, and alcohol. When I looked up the deeper meaning of writers block it explained how it’s a psychological thing. A feeling of not be able to impress your readers. Phew! So it wasn’t me it was you guys ! It’s your fault. Jk , even though blaming someone else is human nature, I won’t do that. I take full blame for neglecting my writing. With that being said announcement time !

I made a huge career change. No, I didn’t become a doctor or lawyer, sorry mom. Still a cocktail server, but I switched shifts! In the casino/nightlife biz it’s a pretty big deal. Usually I’m going to work 10pm-4am (unless you’re the E.O -early out – queen like me.)

Well, now I’m on DAYSHIFT!!!! Two completely different worlds. I kind of feel like a human again with normal work hours, It’s nice. My girls in the biz would be proud of me, I’m working my whole shift on day! Yes, ladies I haven’t taken the early out! Shocking ! There’s no point to take and early out on day shift though, because on this shift we make the bulk of our money towards the end.

Day 10-4pm

*starts off slow picks up later

Swing 4-10pm

*busy at the beginning middle is steady and busy at the end

Grave 10pm-4am

*busy in the beginning then dies down later

Twilight 4am-10am

*no clue lol never worked it , the hours seem scary as hell to me. 😂😩

So there we have it , I’m still here , confessions isn’t going anywhere. Be prepared for a surplus of stories to come.

Almost forgot ! I need new shoes ASAP. Since I’m actually working my whole shift my feet have been on fire. Comfort over cute in this biz. If anyone has recommendations please comment below or on fb comments ! Thank you !

Drink of the week in honor of day shift , Chambord Mimosa :

https://www.liquor.com/recipes/chambord-mimosa/

Cheers xo