Summer 2020

Five months and counting , and I’m still here going strong! Places have begun to open up in Jersey. Atlantic City Casinos are open, yet no cocktail servers. Never thought I would see the day where you can gamble but can’t have a cocktail. Byob at the casino. Talk about roaring 20s! Prohibitions back…

My poor cocktail server family, and poor as in we’re broke as hell! Luckily, you can Venmo Cash app or Go Fund us at:

http://www.confessionsofacocktailserver.com.

Since things have been opening up, I’ve been thrilled to go anywhere that’s not ShopRite or Walmart! Getting supplies was about the most exciting thing ever during quarantine!

I met up with my girl the other night at Bungalow , a hookah spot on the beach. Her and I were talking, in our own world, and two dudes came up with their masks on. (good citizens) They tried to sit with us. Hello social distancing! You could tell in our faces we weren’t interested but proceeded to be nice and listen to what one of them was about to say.

You ready ?

The new pick up line of 2020 folks, “I just want you ladies to know I’m virus FREE”- I nearly fell into the sand I was laughing so hard. Is this real life right now? What about all the other viruses that are actually important? AIDS, Clamydia, you know, the STDS no one really cares about as long as Covid is around and thriving. I really can not deal.

I’m convinced I’ll be single for life at this point. I mean you can’t even see what anyone looks like. Yes I’m shallow , looks mean something to me. Although, my friends will argue this considering my last crush. (Insider)

What if you like how someone looks from the mask up and boom they have jacked up teeth, bad breath, or both ! It’s like looks really can’t matter AT ALL anymore. Excuse me, can you pull down your mask ? Then we can see if you’re an 8 or 6.5.

How about getting ready to go anywhere? Can’t forget my mask. Does this mask match my top ? Hey girl you have an extra mask I forgot mine? These masks are in the way and uncomfortable.

Masks are just as important as your i .d to get into places now. Which is also the best time ever to get in with a fake! No one asks you take off your mask! It’s actually a little scary because they didn’t even ask me at the airport to pull my mask down, I could have been drug lord after all.

I can’t even lick my fingers to separate the plastic produce bags at the grocery store anymore. Anyone else having difficulty with this ? Or am I the reason this pandemic started ? 🤣 Oh and this talk about being a cashless society? Spare me, I haven’t had cash on hand since the Casino closed. I’ve never used my debit card so much in my life. There’s too many conspiracy theorists, it’s ruining my botox. There’s no cash circulating because nothing has been open for months!

Yes, I was first in line when medi spas opened. Especially now, my big ass forehead is all you see wearing this mask. So it has to be smooth and frozen. Lashes , brows, and botox! That’s all I’m worried about now. Saving a lot of money on make up too. Only have to do half my face. Lipstick ?! A thing of the past!

Keep washing your hands, your ass, and always remember the mask goes over your nose. One more thing if you wear your mask in your own car or to the beach you probably were breast fed till the age of 10. Am I wrong?

To kick off week 4 of “outside” opening, the drink of the week – This Truly Rose since it’s been the most un-summerish summer ever… this might cheer us up.

Cheers xo