wheels up

When you’re flying solo and there’s a hot guy next to you, but he’s dry as hell. Boring. Quiet. Awkward.

I’m over here with 8 Fireball shooters and Rumchatas. Including my usual Xanex I need to fly. God forbid we go down at least I’ll go drunk and not feel shit. Just saying.

I’m about to make a fool of myself.

He has a Dasani water …

Well, at least he can carry me off the plan or report me either one.

Wait he does talk! He just asked me if there’s WiFi. Well we’re on Spirit airlines so for additional 189.99 plus tax and fees you can get WiFi.

Awe his mom from the back row just brought him some snacks. Hi Mom! Did you teach your twenty-something son to have a personality or do you do that for him too?

Can I tell you how cute Alonzo the flight attendant is ! He has quick one liners that I live for. Told me the ice is free! With his strong Cuban accent. I’m headed to the Miami area and this flight crew is lit. He was just doing Salsa in the isle. Ayyyyy.

My meds are kicking in, does the rambling sentences give it away ?

I can not wait to lay my ass on the beach. My sanctuary in the world of chaos. Relax. Drink. Repeat. Four days of bliss. I’m so ready! Mama needs this and hopefully some wild shit I can blog about occurs.